Our big project!

So, after Christmas, Hubby decided to get our bedroom cleaned out & make it more of a sanctuary for me. When he did this, we talked about making a frame for our bed. I told him I'd like to have our bed higher as it would make it easier to get out of bed.

I found a simple bed plan online & modified it. Hubby bought wood yesterday & we started our project.

I spent over an hour sanding all the wood down.

Then we build the outside frame.

It was pretty late so we slept on our mattress on the floor.

This morning we drilled holes & bolted the posts to the frame.

Here's the frame with posts attached.

Next we put braces in. Don't look too closely at our spacing!

Next we put plywood on top after we cut out the corners for the posts.

Then I took batting & material (old sheet) and covered the edges of plywood so we wouldn't get splinters.

Here it is finished.

Next we put our box springs on.

Then our select comfort bed. Hubby had to check it out.

Here is the finished product.

It ended up taller than we thought it would be. We need to get a couple of boards to put on each end to keep the mattress from sliding. Hubby is also talking about building me steps to make it easier to get in & out of bed. But other than that, our project is done!

 

 

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I should be panicked!

My Hubby is a medical software trainer since 2006. Since 2008, he has been on the road traveling to locations all over the U.S. training doctors & nurses. During this time he has worked for 5 different companies.

His current company will pay up to 90 days if they don't have an assignment for you. It's called bench time. Well, Hubby's bench time ends on Thursday. Hence the title of this post.

I should be panicked, but I'm not. I know that God is in control. He has a plan for us that is better than I could imagine or plan myself. I'm excited to see how God provides for us.

Will He provide another travel job that carries us all over the country again? Will He provide a job near home giving us a more "normal" life again? Will He move us to some other state?

I don't know, but I'm excited to see where this all leads. How is God going to use us & shine is light through our situation?? I'll keep ya all posted...

 

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Sunrise

God woke me up this morning in time for me to see just a fraction of His beautiful creation! My photos don't do justice to this magnificent sunrise. I'm just in Awe of God! Enjoy the sunrise & the spotting of the bald eagle again!

 

 

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Excuses no more!

I've struggled with my weight all my life. I don't know if I can pinpoint any one thing that contributed to this. But lately I've done a lot of thinking about this. I knew I had to figure this out if I wanted to get healthy.

Part of it is genetics. I have a large frame. So even when I was at a healthy weight, I was bigger than most of the girls. Naturally being a size 12 or 14 was never easy. I'll never be a size 6!

Some of my weight problem stemmed from a grandma being over critical of my size. She didn't mean to be mean. She had her own life-long fight with weight & I just think she didn't want me to follow in her footsteps. But the more she said "you've gained weight, haven't you" the more I obsessed with food.

Another source of my unhealthy weight was boys. I saw how the boys treated the good looking girls. They were only interested in dating & using them. I, being heavier, was treated differently. They saw me more as "one of the guys". I liked being friends with them. I didn't want to date as it always ended painfully. So in my warped mind, I used my weight to protect myself. Then once I found the one, I used my weight to keep all others away.

Another factor in my weight struggle was all my past doctors. They all harped on me about my weight & put me on many different eating plans. I was so obsessed with counting calories or points that I became obsessed with food. When you are obsessed with food, you tend to eat more.

I think another factor in my weight struggles has been the type of eating plans recommended for me. The food pyramid does NOT work for me. Counting calories does NOT work for me. Balanced eating does NOT worked for me. The more carbs that I eat, the more I crave them.

The last factor I want to mention is a little thing called Fibromyalgia. I was diagnosed with it in 1997 but I think I've had it all my life. Pain has a way of beating you down. I've been given so many meds that just made my weight yo-yo. I was looking to doctors for a cure. Even though I knew there wasn't one.

Why is hashing out all these factors important? Because, I had to see what wasn't working in my life. I had to see the excuses I was hanging onto or hiding behind. I had to see what I was hiding behind instead of living a healthy life. Once I laid all these excuses on the table, I had to take a good look at myself. That was painful.

Stepping on the scale at the doctor & reading 295 was the most crushing thing to me. I knew I was at a crossroads. Was I going to continue this path & become disabled or die before my kids grew up? Or was I going to get healthy?

I went home & cried. I prayed & cried some more. God whispered to me "Your weight is not you. I see you differently." This small whisper in my thoughts sent me to my Bible. Even though I've studied this before, this time it was different. I looked up verses on what I meant to God. He loves me. I am His daughter. He chose me before time began! He is the King of Kings & I am His princess.

Somehow I had never believed this, but that afternoon, I really did believe it! I cried more. Then I asked God to forgive me for not seeing myself as He does. I gave Him all my excuses, all the lies I'd made myself believe & all my fears of failing. Something changed in me that afternoon.

I desired to be healthy. God filled me with the cravings for meat & veggies & fruit. God gave me a desire to walk. He took away all my excuses for being the way i was. He also gave me the freedom to tell you all that I needed to change & to ask for prayer. That was a big deal. It's hard to ask for prayer in an area where you've failed so many times!

Over the past 3 weeks, I have been blessed by those who are walking with me on my journey. It humbles me to see so many praying for me. It fills my heart with joy to know I have tons of people encouraging me! I think of you all & pray for each of you as I walk. I can't wait to see where this journey we call life takes us!

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Things never go as planned

I think God must laugh at me & all my plans a lot! I think He's trying to teach me to let go & just go with life as it happens. So originally, Hubby was to be home the first 2 weeks of this month, 1 of those alone with me. That got changed as he ended up spending the 1st week in Denver (our alone week). Then Hubby was to go to California the last 3 weeks of the month & I was to spend 10 of those days with him. Well, that got changed! He ended up not going & instead spent another week in Denver. And now he is home for 3 weeks. 


I'm learning not to hold on to the plans I've made. I could be mad because plans fell through. I could pout, but what good would that do. So now I'm moving on. It looks like I'm going to get some alone time with Hubby next week thanks to our wonderful parents! And it's even looking like I'll get to go to California with Hubby around my birthday. But if it doesn't work out, I'm ok with it. 


I'm seeing that God's plans are better. We have been having some great family time this week. Having Hubby home has helped the kids alot. I sometimes forget that his travel is as hard on them as it is on me. So this extra time he has at home is very good. 


God's plans are always better than mine. In Jeremiah 29:11 it says "For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  I can always trust in God's plans! Proverbs 3:5-6 says “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”  So even when I can't understand why my plans have changed, I can trust God is leading me where He wants. Even though I make plans, I'm leaving the actual path I travel up to God. Proverbs 16:9 says “A man’s heart plans his way, but the Lord directs his steps.” 


I've mentioned this song before, but I love the song "I'm Letting Go" by Francesca Battistelli. I think it's because God has been teaching me to let go! Here's the chorus:

I’m letting go

Of the life I planned for me

And my dreams

Losing control

Of my destiny

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe

So I’m letting go

I also really like Francesca's song "Unpredictable" as it reminds me that God is bigger than I am & His plans & thoughts are so much bigger & broader than I could ever imagine.

When I know that I know

What You have down the road

When I’m sure that

I’ve figured You out

Help me see that I’m small

That I can’t know it all

‘Cause You’re so unpredictable

So when things don't seem to be going as planned, just let go of your plans & trust God! It is hard at first, but the more you let go & just trust, the easier it gets. This unpredictable life is so exciting. God means for it to be exciting. He wants to lead us on paths we never would have dreamed & wants to stretch us farther than we've ever been stretched. Yes, it is scary sometimes! I so want to cling to the familiar & routine. But when I let go, I've been amazed by what God does through me & for me!

Deeper Still

This past weekend, I attended Deeper Still with a wonderful group of ladies from my church. What is Deeper Still? you ask. It is a conference that was put on by LifeWay Women. It included wonderful worship lead by Travis Cottrell and his worship team. It also was a weekend of wonderful teaching by 3 generations of women: Kay Arthur, Beth Moore & Priscilla Shirer. There have been 10 Deeper Still events over 5 years. I attended the 2nd one in Nashville in 2007 & now the last one in Louisville.

Before I went, God had laid on my heart that I need to be anticipating His working in me. I was to go expecting Him to change me. I blogged about it here - http://jelejada.blogspot.com/2011/06/what-are-you-expecting.html . When I got there, one of the first things Kay Arthur said is "What are you expecting God to do in your life this weekend?". I got so excited anticipating what God was going to do. I was amazed at how God used each speaker to challenge me, encourage me & even rebuke me!

Over the next week or so, I plan to blog about each session & what God taught me from each. But this post is just a general overview of the weekend & what it meant to me.

As I prepared to go to Deeper Still, I was worn out physically, emotionally & spiritually. It's been a rough month. Hubby is back to traveling almost full time. Homeschooling year ended right on time as I was ready to quit. Kids seemed to be extra trying. I seemed to be extra grouchy. My fibromyalgia seemed to be flaring more. I was barely making it through the days with all things considered. I wasn't living, I was surviving.

I really didn't know how I was going to function or even enjoy the weekend. Earlier last week, God started preparing me. He drew me into His Word & putting excitement & anticipation into my heart. So I left for the conference worn out but anticipating.

I had no idea what God was going to speak to my heart & that He would start as soon as the first session started. We were sitting 2 rows from the stage. In front of us were the piano & drum set. As I stood their singing, I noticed how passionate the drummer was about drumming for the Lord. He put his all into those worship songs. God whispered to me "Are you putting your all into worshiping me?" The tears started to flow as I sang & prayed. I asked God to clear my thoughts of all the worries I was carrying, of all the doubts I had & of all the concerns on my mind & just let me focus on Him. Those around me probably thought I was strange, but I honestly wasn't aware if they were. I just focused on my Savior & worshiping Him! I was free! Free to praise my Savior! Free to focus on Him! Free of my fears, my failures, my doubt, my selfishness, me! I believe God gave me just a glimpse of what it will be like to praise Him in Heaven where He will be our all, our passion!

After that refreshing encounter with my Savior, the rest of the weekend was just icing on the cake. I was changed! Yes, I still have the same worries, doubts & concerns. I'm still tired. I'm still achy. But my heart is changed. I know, that these will all pass away! Only God is forever! I know that He loves me & that whatever I face, I can face it! I am free to anticipate what God is going to do & expect Him to answer my prayers! Travis Cottrell taught us a new us a new song called "I am Changed." The lyrics say "Now it is not I but it is Christ living in me. I'm Changed because of You Oh Lord!" "This is the Life that I now live. I life by faith!" So I no longer am just going to survive! I am changed & I am going to live for my Lord! I'm going Deeper Still with my Savior!

What are you expecting?

This seems to be the question on my mind this week. Specifically, what am I expecting God to do in my life? Am I expecting Him to do anything? or am I just going through the motions. Am I looking for God to work in my life? Am I watching to see what message or blessing He has for me?

So many times, I get so entrenched in my daily life. Before I know it, I've dug a deep trench by trudging back & forth doing all that "needs" to be done. I don't look up, I don't look around. I just keep plugging away at life. When I finally do stop, I realize I've built walls around myself. Walls of housework, school routine, tv shows, kid raising, husband care-taking, yard work, church work, etc...

None of those things are bad, but they can become so routine that we get in a rut & all the joy is sucked out of everything. Before I know it I'm rushing to get everything done & taking no prisoners along the way. I become moody, irritable & withdrawn. I realize I'm not living, I'm just surviving.

What's the difference? Attitude!

I decided this week, after a blow-up at my kids, to be intentional about spending time in God's Word. The first day, my study asked if I was anticipating God working in & around me? I wasn't. I was only focused on what I had to do to get by. The last 3 days I have been starting my day in God's Word & praying for Him to open my eyes to what He is doing and to help me to expect Him to move!

I've seen God working! I've been more even keeled in my attitude. I've seen tenderness developing in my son that I would have missed before. I've seen God convicting my kids & softening their hearts. I've seen God answering prayers because I've been anticipating Him to answer!

Today, I'm going with a group of ladies from my church to "Deeper Still" with Beth Moore, Priscilla Shirer & Kay Arthur. I'm going expecting to hear from God! I'm excited to find out what message God has for me as I continue this walk with Him! I'm expecting Him to revolutionize my life & change me to be more like Christ!

So what are you expecting? Are you expecting God to work? Are you expecting God to bless you? Or are you just trudging through life trying to do it all on your own?