Monday, June 13, 2011

Deeper Still

This past weekend, I attended Deeper Still with a wonderful group of ladies from my church. What is Deeper Still? you ask. It is a conference that was put on by LifeWay Women. It included wonderful worship lead by Travis Cottrell and his worship team. It also was a weekend of wonderful teaching by 3 generations of women: Kay Arthur, Beth Moore & Priscilla Shirer. There have been 10 Deeper Still events over 5 years. I attended the 2nd one in Nashville in 2007 & now the last one in Louisville.

Before I went, God had laid on my heart that I need to be anticipating His working in me. I was to go expecting Him to change me. I blogged about it here - . When I got there, one of the first things Kay Arthur said is "What are you expecting God to do in your life this weekend?". I got so excited anticipating what God was going to do. I was amazed at how God used each speaker to challenge me, encourage me & even rebuke me!

Over the next week or so, I plan to blog about each session & what God taught me from each. But this post is just a general overview of the weekend & what it meant to me.

As I prepared to go to Deeper Still, I was worn out physically, emotionally & spiritually. It's been a rough month. Hubby is back to traveling almost full time. Homeschooling year ended right on time as I was ready to quit. Kids seemed to be extra trying. I seemed to be extra grouchy. My fibromyalgia seemed to be flaring more. I was barely making it through the days with all things considered. I wasn't living, I was surviving.

I really didn't know how I was going to function or even enjoy the weekend. Earlier last week, God started preparing me. He drew me into His Word & putting excitement & anticipation into my heart. So I left for the conference worn out but anticipating.

I had no idea what God was going to speak to my heart & that He would start as soon as the first session started. We were sitting 2 rows from the stage. In front of us were the piano & drum set. As I stood their singing, I noticed how passionate the drummer was about drumming for the Lord. He put his all into those worship songs. God whispered to me "Are you putting your all into worshiping me?" The tears started to flow as I sang & prayed. I asked God to clear my thoughts of all the worries I was carrying, of all the doubts I had & of all the concerns on my mind & just let me focus on Him. Those around me probably thought I was strange, but I honestly wasn't aware if they were. I just focused on my Savior & worshiping Him! I was free! Free to praise my Savior! Free to focus on Him! Free of my fears, my failures, my doubt, my selfishness, me! I believe God gave me just a glimpse of what it will be like to praise Him in Heaven where He will be our all, our passion!

After that refreshing encounter with my Savior, the rest of the weekend was just icing on the cake. I was changed! Yes, I still have the same worries, doubts & concerns. I'm still tired. I'm still achy. But my heart is changed. I know, that these will all pass away! Only God is forever! I know that He loves me & that whatever I face, I can face it! I am free to anticipate what God is going to do & expect Him to answer my prayers! Travis Cottrell taught us a new us a new song called "I am Changed." The lyrics say "Now it is not I but it is Christ living in me. I'm Changed because of You Oh Lord!" "This is the Life that I now live. I life by faith!" So I no longer am just going to survive! I am changed & I am going to live for my Lord! I'm going Deeper Still with my Savior!

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