Saturday, September 20, 2008


I don't really have a topic today. Just noticed I hadn't updated in a while. Things are going ok. We are having a little trouble with the kids picking up their toys. It's a constant struggle & I'm not really sure how to deal with it. It usually ends in yelling (yes, I know yelling is not good). I know I've trained them to only respond to yelling but I can't seem to get us out of this viscous circle! Then I end up feeling like a horrible mom.

Plus this week I'm dealing with hormones & headaches so that make me irritable. Fortunately, Jeff is coming home tonight! He is home for 4 whole days then on Thursday, he & I head to DE where he is working. A nice break for me.

I feel like I've been under attack this week. My defenses are down since I've not been feeling the best & Satan has been working overtime on trying to convince me I'm a bad mom. Then all the afraid feelings. Just a hard week. But I've been clinging to God & He has brought me through it. Some weeks we sail through & other weeks we are just happy to have made it through alive!

As you can see, this is just a rambling mess. So, if you thought I had it all together, you can clearly see that I don't. I struggle, but God is faithful to take even my weak attempts & turn them to good. Every day, Heaven looks better & better. To have no struggles, no pain, no anger, no just be in the presence of Jesus....ah....

Sunday, September 7, 2008

"I don't think I could do it"

That is the most common thing I've heard from everyone whenever they talk to me about Jeff's traveling job. The conversation goes something like this:
"How's Jeff liking the new Job?"
"Fine. He seems to be adjusting to it well"
"How are you doing with him gone all the time?"
"Pretty good. We get to talk to him on Skype all the time, so that helps."
"Well, I don't think I could do it!"

So, I've been thinking about this. The only thing I can say in answer to that is "I'm not doing it. God is." The human part of me is screaming that Jeff needs to be home & I can't be on my own with 3 kids for 4-5 days a week. But then I look at this & can see God's hand. He put us here. He is guiding me. It is working. Yes, I miss Jeff when he's crazy. But things are going smoothly & everything is working good. So God must be doing this for us.

You know, I probably would say the same thing to someone in my situation. But now, I don't think I'll ever say that again. Now I see that if God puts me in a tough situation, He'll enable me "to do it!" He has plans for me that are higher than what I could even dream. I just can't think on that level so I just have to accept that if He put us on this path, He'll provide the way. So I know that I can do it if it is God's will for me!!