Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Help! My hubby spends all his time on....

No, I don't need help. BUT I got your attention. I'm writing this because lately I've heard a lot of women complaining that their husband spends all his time on the computer or he spends all his time watching football or all his time playing video games, or whatever his passion/interest is.

It seems like so many women feel alone or unloved because other things take their husbands time & attention. While this is a problem, think about how much time you spend on girl things like shopping, sewing, scrap booking, etc...Just like you, your husband needs to have some fun. He needs to have an outlet for his frustrations. Now, I know it shouldn't monopolize his time, but he should have time to do it!

When I was first married & we would do things with the people my hubby worked with, I was amazed
at the disdain the other wives had for the hobbies of their husbands. I decided then & there that I didn't want to be like these wives! These wives just hated that their husbands had hobbies. They sat & brewed over the fact they were on the computers & wasting their time yet in the same breath were talking about how much time they themselves spent shopping or scrapbooking or on their own hobbies. They showed no respect for their husbands & talked bad about them. When I dared to ask if they thought about gaming with their husbands, I almost got laughed out of the room. (BTW, I know at least 2 of these marriages have ended! Sad.)

That's when I decided to take an interest in what my hubby was interested in. He was/is a computer geek & spent a lot of time on the computer. So, I started asking him about the computers & asking him to teach me what he was doing. I started being interested in his hobbies. Now we can spend hours playing "Rock Band" or "StarCraft" together!

And NO, he doesn't take photos or garden with me (my hobbies), BUT I do get to spend quality time with him and it has made our relationship stronger. Plus, I think he likes bragging to his geek buddies about the fact that he can game with his wife! Oh, & don't tell him, but I actually like gaming with him now!!

No matter what your husbands hobby (computers/gaming/sports/hunting/running/biking/boating/etc) I issue this challenge to you: Do you know what your Husband likes to do for fun? Do you know what his hobby is? Do you do it with him? If your answer to any of these questions is no, then maybe it's time to find out & act! Who knows, you might be like me & actually enjoy his hobby!! Plus, you'll get to spend quality time with your hubby!!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Struggling with who I am...

I love my life. But sometimes, when I start looking around at my friends & family, I start struggling with who I am. I see moms who cook from scratch, who can their own food, who make their kids' clothes & think "I need to be doing that". I see a mom who is very frugal & think "I need to be that way". I see moms who have their child in every activity they can find & think "I need to get my kids in all those activities". I see families who are involved in other ministries & think "We need to do that too". I see families who are having weekly or even daily family time & think "We need to have family time like that". Then when my life, my hubby or myself don't match these "IDEAS" I get frustrated...

That's when I hear God whisper..."But I didn't make you to do all those things or to be like them. I made you Unique...I made you You!" When I embrace who God made me to be & embrace where I am at this stage of my life, I stop struggling. I see clearly my direction in life & recognize that my life is truly one of a kind.

While I appreciate & love all my friends, I can say, your life is not mine! And it's ok that I'm not like everyone else. I really never have been...It's time to embrace my life & stop struggling with who I am.

I'm a wife to a wonderful Hubby who loves me & treats me like a princess. Because he travels, our life is crazy. We have no schedule as some would see, but it works for us. We fit school in where we can - nights, afternoons, mornings, weekends & at home, on the road, in hotels.... We embrace the times when are with hubby & keep busy getting ahead when he is gone.

I have 3 wonderful kids. They are not like anyone else's! They walk to the beat of their own drums. They too are unique. Our school work will be taylored to their interests & my teaching style will be different than many others who homeschool.

I have fibromyalgia so my energy/time needs to be spent wisely. Shortcuts at meals & less external activities are the rule of thumb.

So, I am me! I do not have to be like the moms around me! I love all my friends but I'm not them. My life is radically different & I need to remember that! I need to embrace who God made me to be. I need to stop torturing myself when I do things differently or think differently. So who am I? I am me! I'm unique, I'm different & it's time I start being confident that God knows who He made me to be!