Hubby has been traveling for 2 1/2 years now. I'm very thankful he has a job at all, but a traveling job when you have a family is very hard. And now it seems harder since he had an assignment here in town for 3 months. We were so blessed to have him home every night for those 3 months.
We know this is the way it has to be for right now as God led him to this job & no other job has been provided for him. So, we must deal with what we've been given. I know that God will give us the strength to get through this. I just keep praying for another job or something better.
Right now, it seems like this is an almost impossible thing to bear. My fibromyalgia has been flaring more this month. Allergies have got my kids feeling miserable. All 3 have coughs. Breathing treatments are happening every 4 hrs. All this rain & storms are not helping any. And on top of all this, my attitude isn't helping. During the week, I'm just waiting for Friday night to come. I'm trying really hard to live in the moment, but I'm struggling.
I feel guilty because I'm struggling. I'm not dying. I don't have any major sickness. My kids are relatively healthy & these allergies will pass. My hubby is still alive & comes home every weekend. I may have pain, but I know it won't cause permanent damage to my body. My life is relatively drama free. My family is fairly normal. I have lots of friends both locally & online. Then why am I struggling so???
I'm not really sure. I think it is a combination of hormones(too many emotions!), the weather (too little sunshine!), fibromyalgia (too much pain!) & separation (too little hubby!). I also think it is weakness. Why? I think Satan knows my weakness(all above) & uses that to put discontent, doubt & discouragement in my mind. I'm thinking I need to spend more time in prayer & Bible study with my Savior! I also covet your prayers for me, my kids & for hubby.
Just wanted to share my struggles right now. We are struggling here at home while hubby travels, but it will get easier & it will get better. The kids are doing okay. They miss daddy a lot, but they soldier through. Hopefully we will soon get to travel with hubby. Our schedule is tight right now, but I am working to free up our schedule so we can go when the opportunity arises. I know that being transparent, I'm helping myself & maybe helping someone else who is struggling. It's so easy to hide & keep all the feelings inside, but it does nothing but cause depression & pain! Which leads to more struggling!