God tells us again & again to trust in Him, to fear not, to worry not because He loves us & cares for us! But in our human nature, that is so hard! Time & time again, I pick those worries & fears up instead of leaving them at His feet.
I finally figured out why I struggle with trust. It's because I think I know best. I think if I'm in control of it all, then I can work it all out the way I want things to come out. Only 1 thing wrong with this thinking, I'm NOT in control of anything. I think I am, but I'm not.
Sometimes I think I must really be a source of absolute amusement for God. He must sit there just shaking His head at me while trying not to laugh while I'm trying to do everything & be everything to everyone. Much like I get amused when one of my kids try to do an adult task that they clearly have no ability to master.
The longer I live, the more I realize that I have absolutely no control over anything. Only God does! Since He knows all & sees all, I can trust Him to lead me where I need to go.
I share all this so I can tell you about my weekend. We had homeschool conference in Cincy on Thursday through Saturday. 6 hrs on Thursday, 14 hrs on Friday & 9 hrs on Saturday of walking, looking at curriculum, sitting in workshops & being around thousands of people. Follow this up with a very busy Sunday which included Hubby heading off for his first travel assignment in 3 months!
Amazing! That's the only word to describe it! I still hurt, I still was tired & I still had a few moments of total neurological overload. BUT I had such peace & knew God was carrying me through each moment of the weekend. I made it through the conference & even was able to help with a reception at church on Sunday & have kids over to play. I made it through! And I'm not crashing today! I'm sore & tired but not completely crashing!I started to stress over this all last week. But decided that God knew I was in a Fibromyalgia flare-up & knew all the weekend involved. So, I decided to trust Him. I asked my prayer warrior friends & family to pray for me. Then I resolved to trust God & head into the long weekend activities.
I can not find the words to adequately thank God for carrying me through! I'm so thankful to all my faithful prayer warriors for their part in this weekend! What a difference it made!