Freedom & Peace vs. Control & Worry

Right now, life is peaceful! I'm content! I'm not saying our life is perfect, but I'm not worried. We have medical bills we can't pay right now, financially we are barely scrapping by, Hubby & I are both overweight, having minor issues with kids, but I'm not worried. That's a major change in my life. I used to spend most of my day upset over something. But I don't now. I'm not sure when this changed, but I know WHO changed me. God has been working in me to change me. I'm letting go of the past, of the struggles, of the way I think our life should be, of who I think my Hubby should be, of who I wish I was, of how my kids should act & who they should be. Many times my "idea" of how things should be would stress me out more than reality.

I've been meditating on the fact that God created me! He knows the Plans he has for me! (Jeremiah 29:11). Why should I worry when He has it all under control? Besides, this life is just a short moment & then Real Life begins! It's not been an easy change as I want to hang on to that worry. I want control & worry made me feel I had control even though I know I didn't. God has control, not me! Worry made me focus on myself. Trusting God has made me focus on Him! When I focus on God, how big He is, the plans He has for me, His Majesty & His Holiness then I no longer have to worry about what will happen! I just have to trust He will carry me through & guide me all the way. It's sooooo much easier this way!

I think Francesca Battistelli's song "I'm Letting Go" expresses how I'm feeling now best. So check the lyrics out!

My heart beats, standing on the edge
But my feet have finally left the ledge

Like an acrobat
There’s no turning back

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

This is a giant leap of faith
Trusting and trying to embrace

The fear of the unknown
Beyond my comfort zone

Chorus
I’m letting go
Of the life I planned for me
And my dreams
Losing control
Of my destiny
Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
So I’m letting go

Giving in to your gravity
Knowing You are holding me

I’m not afraid

Feels like I’m falling and that’s what it’s like to believe
Feels like I’m falling and this is the life for me

So, Do you want to join me & let go too? If so, check out some of these verses that have helped me in my journey of letting go of control & worry: Jeremiah 29:11, Philippians 3:12-14, Proverbs 3:5,6, Romans 8:28, Revelation 4:11, Proverbs 16:4, Matthew 6:34, I Peter 5:7. There are many more, but this will get you started.

You can let go of control, of worry, of having things your way! I'm living proof that God can change the biggest worrier & controller! There is such a freedom & a peace when you let go & let God handle the details! As long as your eyes are on Christ, there is no need to worry! He knows it all! He knows the ending! So why not let go & let God hold you!

Standing on the edge of life, looking down & wondering what adventure awaits is truly living! Cowering down in the corner, worry about every thing that "might" happen is not! Opening my hands & giving those worries to God, keeping my eyes on Him & jumping into this adventure called life has changed everything! I have peace! I have freedom! I may still have problems & things may not go the way I want them to, but I know God is in control & He has plans for me that I can't comprehend & would never have dreamed possible! So I'm going to continue letting go, looking to God & just jump right into the life He has for me! What an adventure! What a life!

Goal for 2011

So, 2011 is here. Seems like it snuck up on me! I don't do New Year's Resolutions as I never follow them. But I do have a goal for the new year & that is to exercise more & eat healthier. It's going to be easier as Hubby needs to do it with me as his blood sugars are out of control. I need to do it for my blood pressure & for my fibromyalgia. I'm not sure if I'm going to follow some diet plan or count calories or what. My short term plan is to eat salad for lunch, eat smaller suppers & drink lots of water. I've also decided to cut out aspartame as I've read a lot about it causing Fibromyalgia symptoms to be worse.

I'm also planning to exercise more. I want to exercise at least 4 days a week if not more. I have my treadmill to walk on, my recumbent bike to ride & then WiiFit & Wii Biggest Loser to do. So I should have variety. I'm hoping that the more I exercise, the better I will feel. And, if I lose weight, that will be a bonus!!

Motivation will be tough. How do you gauge how you are doing with diet & exercise? Usually with weight loss. Well, the last 2 times I got on exercise kick, I never lost a pound. I believe that's because I was building muscle, but it's still discouraging to not see progress. Also, with the fibromyalgia, achiness & pain are a daily part of life. Sometimes this makes exercise very hard.

Not really sure why I'm blogging this. Maybe because if I have it in writing & out on the web, I will be more motivated to stick to it.

If you are reading this, say a prayer for me. Pray that I will stick to this & become healthier. Pray that I can fight through the pain, fatigue & discouragement & keep going! Also pray that Hubby can stick to diet & exercise & we can both be healthier in 2011. Thanks!