I Don't Belong Here....

I have decided that I don't really belong here! I don't fit in. My thinking is bizarre... I'm not sure if this is good or bad, but here's just a few of the reasons why I think this:

1. I'm happy my kids are home with me! - I hear/read posts from so many of my friends that are so excited that school is back in session & their kids are back in school. Now, don't get me wrong, I do wish at times I had more "me" time. But overall, I'm very glad I'm not sending my kids away for 8 hours a day! I enjoy being around them. I enjoy teaching them. I enjoy having lots of family times! Yes, they drive me crazy sometimes! And there are even times I'm jealous of those who send their kids to school & get to do their home chores in peace. But I'd miss my kids if they went off to school.

2. I love spending time with my hubby! - So many people I know can't wait to be away from their husbands or wives. If I had it my way, I'd be with hubby all the time! He's my best friend! I'd rather go out with him than with the girls. He wins every time!!

3. I'm not a cook from scratch, sew my own clothes homeschooler! - so, this makes me not fit in to the general world because I homeschool. It also makes me not fit in to the homeschooling world because I don't cook from scratch, we don't sew our own clothes, I don't have more than 5 kids, I own a tv, my kids listen to music other than classical & we embrace technology! Now, I know not all homeschoolers do that stuff. And I know that some of the world that doesn't homeschool does do that stuff. But on average, I don't fit in.

4. I'm an older parent - What I mean is this: Most of my friends that are my age (pushing 40) have kids that are all grown up or at least almost out of high school. My kids are 10, 7 & 5. The parents of my kids' friends are mostly in their 20s or early 30s! So, I feel like I don't fit in.

Ok, enough reasons. You get the point. But, I'm not posting this to complain. I'm just excited that for once in my life, I don't care that I'm different & don't fit in. All my life I've not "fit in" for some reason or another (weight, country girl at city church, shy, good girl when everyone else in class smoke/drank, etc....). I've always hated it & let it depress me. But I've finally come to the point where I like who I am! And I don't care what others think of me. The only thing that matters is what Jesus thinks of me! He's my savior & creator! He made me unique! He made me the way I am for a reason! So, I am embracing it!

I am different! I don't belong here! I was made for eternity! So, I will continue being who I am! So, who am I? I'm a Bible Believing sinner saved by grace!  I'm a wife to the best Hubby in the world. I am mother to 3 bright, wonderful, beautiful kids whom I homeschool! I live in Chronic pain so we do things differently in our house because of it. We are a tech-savy, boxed food eating, junk food eating, 80s music loving, travel when we can, Jesus loving, messy house, short-cut taking, Uniquely weird family! And we love it!! Why? Because God made us this way!! So if you want some want to know some unique, weird people who will love you for who you are, then you've come to the right place!!!

Patiently Waiting....

I hate to wait! And lately it seems like waiting on God's timing is my life lesson at this time! I'm realizing more & more that God's timing is definitely not MY timing!

In my timing, Hubby would already have a non-traveling job here and be home every night with us! But it's not God's timing!

In my timing, I would not have sciatica right now! I have lots to do & have responsibility for 3 kids by myself during the week. But that's NOT Gods timing! God allowed my sciatica to happen & graciously allowed my parents to be able to help me! And in my timing I'd be completely better, but in God's timing healing is taking longer.

In my timing, we'd be ahead on bills & debts would be paid off. But in God's timing that hasn't been able to happen yet.

In my timing.... In my timing...

God's timing is not my timing! God has plans for me that I don't understand. Plus, He sees the big picture that I do not. So my timing is nothing. Because God says: "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." So I may have plans but they fail in comparison to the plans God has for me! So I must wait patiently on God's timing! Even though sometimes it is very hard!