So, I finally got my blood pressure under control & now I'm dealing with a fissure! Ouch! I've been in pain most of the last 3 months... The last 3 weeks have been really bad and I have fibromyalgia & am used to dealing with pain...
I'm so tired of hurting & being sidelined by pain. Physically, I've had to deal with worse pain. BUT this time it seems harder. I know I'm being harder on myself. I'm so frustrated with the fact that I'm having trouble taking care of my hubby & kids. Mind you, they aren't complaining as my hubby has taken awesome care of me and my kids have pitched in & helped a lot. It's just that I know my purpose in life at this stage is to love God, love my husband, love my family & take care of them! I have a house to clean, laundry to do, meals to fix, yardwork to do, school to teach, hubby to be a wife to! ;-)
And the frustration at not being able to fulfill those duties has hit me hard. I know God has a reason for all this, but I can't see it right now. And that's where Satan has me... He used that to eat away at me & tell me I'm useless, worthless & too much of a bother. Why do I listen to him? I know he just wants to pull me away from God & to fill me with despair. Oh God, help me! comfort me, lift me up & help me to withstand the temptation to give in to the pain & despair.
From this moment on Lord, I praise You for this pain. I don't understand it, but I praise You for & in this pain. Use it! Use me! For Your ultimate Glory!! For I know that You love me & that You work all things for Good!!