This is how I feel lately. I'm trying to get healthier, we're trying to get financially healthier, but seems like we are stuck in the mud. Let me see if I can explain what I mean.
Let me start with finances. I'm a stay at home mom & hubby is a traveling trainer. He makes fairly good money. But we are in debt. A lot of it is accumulated from when I got sick & had to stop working and we didn't change our lifestyle. Some of it is from taking a loss on our house to get out of a very bad neighborhood. Some of it is from getting loans to cover an IRS debt from when hubby was self-employed. Some of it is school loans. Anyway, we are in debt. Plus we are behind on some bills still due to hubby being laid off for awhile in 2006.
So, we've read Dave Ramsey & other finance stuff & we are trying to change our ways. But the reason I feel stuck is because when you are behind, it is so hard to get caught up enough where you have extra to start saving & start paying down the debt. So the vicious cycle continues. Plus with hubby traveling constantly we have to use whatever extra we have to keep him traveling (he has to pay hotel, car & meals up front, then get reimbursed 2-3 weeks later).
Another place I've felt stuck is getting healthy. I have fibromyalgia & am overweight. I want to lose the weight & am just very slowly. I'd love to be able to walk a lot to help me lose the weight. BUT, I'm with the kids on my own most of the time so can't really exercise the way I'd like. I also have lots of bad days that make it hard to consistently exercise. I could go to a gym with child care & do water aerobics, but finances prevents that one.
I'm also trying to eat healthier, but face it, less healthy food is cheaper! It's also easier to fix on those days when I'm not feeling the best.
So, I'm feeling stuck. I know it will work out. I know God will provide. But Right now, I'm only seeing the sides of the pit I'm in. Time to dig into God's Word & readjust my vision so I can see the Hand reaching into the pit to pull me up. So many times I stop looking up & start looking at myself to solve all these problems. Or I start listening to the voices of the world telling me to blame my hubby, to blame God & to give up. And some times, I just like wallowing in self-pity!
So there you have it - the good (admiting I need to turn to God), the bad (our financial woes & my health problems) & the ugly (my self centeredness!).