Things I'm Learning

I hope that I never stop learning. So here are some things I'm learning now in my life.

1. I need balance in my life. The only way I can have that is if I spend time daily with my Savior! When my life is centered on Jesus Christ, only then can the rest of my world be balanced! When I neglect my time with Jesus, then my whole day is off. It is such a simple thing to spend a little time in prayer, Bible study & praise, yet it has often been the lowest priority of my life.

2. Fear will continue to rule my life until I come to the point that I trust God. Period. I need to trust Him with everything & leave the outcome to Him. When I say "I believe God will take care of me but what if ______ happens? I'd just die or I don't know what I'd do." then I'm putting conditions on God & Satan is going to use that as a constant threat. Instead, I need to say "I trust God." then now matter what happens, I know God is Faithful and will work it out for good. I don't have to dwell on the what Ifs. We will never be in a situation where God will not offer us His courage! As Beth Moore says "Courage is not the absence of fear, but the judgement that there is something much more important than that fear." TRUST!

3. I've got to be me! I need to stop worrying about what other people think about me or think I should be doing. God made me unique! As long as I am following His plan for me, then I am being who & what I am to be. I may not please everyone, but then neither did Jesus. When I worry about what others think to the point it is affecting what I do, then I'm obsessing on myself! So, I'm unique! My marriage will be unique. My kids will be unique! The way we do school will be unique! And that's ok. I don't have to be like everyone else. Besides, if I was, this would be a boring life!

4. When God asks you to step up & give your testimony, the enemy is going to attack. On March 21st, I am giving my testimony on dealing with chronic pain & depression to the women of my church at our spring retreat. I didn't want to do it. I didn't volunteer at first, but felt God impressing on me to step up. Now as the date approaches, I feel under the attack. Satan has been trying to discourage me. Some of it mental (no one wants to hear your story, you can't talk in front of 50+ women, etc...) and some of it is physical (I've been fighting headaches, neck pain, insomnia, body aches, depression). BUT God will see me through! I just have to trust. So I push through knowing that God will be praised & maybe He will use me to help someone else.

5. The one thing I've hated (CHANGE) is actually happening in my life & I'm growing to love it. I hate change! We all do. Whether it's a job change, a location change, a loss of someone, or just a routine change, we just don't like it. We want stability. We want everything to stay the same so we can cope. I'm finding that the only stability in my life is Jesus! He is my rock! My whole world may be changing, but Jesus never changes! So as things change around me like my kids growing up, my hubby traveling a lot to different places sometimes at last minute, my family changing as my Mamaw ages & her health deteriorates, My body changing as I age & slowly go gray, I know that God will never change & He has a hold of me & I can just go along for the ride....singing His praises all the way!

So, this is just a little of what I'm learning! I hope I keep growing & learning & enjoying life!

Teachable Moments

I've been thinking recently about why I homeschool. There are all the standard answers: better education, Biblical education, school work tailored to the way my children learn, my daughter's severe peanut allergy, etc. While those are all reasons why we homeschool, there is one that stands out to me.

I homeschool because it gives me more "teachable moments" with my kids. Life is our classroom. My kids ask questions & we can go research them right way instead of waiting till the curriculum allows. We watch a tv show & then we can talk about it & research things that need to be researched. When we are out & see a child misbehaving, we can talk about it. Every moment of the day is a possible learning opportunity. I have all day to see those teachable moments & use them. If I sent them off to school, I'd loose 6 hours of teachable time while they were in school.

Our theme verse for our homeschooling is:

Deuteronomy 6:5-9 (New International Version)

Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

So, not only am I teaching my children reading, writing, spelling, math, etc., I am also teaching them about Jesus! I am able to give them a Biblical worldview about every moment in life. With each & every question they ask, we can see how it relates to God. And really, isn't this what life is about?

Stepping out of our comfort zones

It seems like lately that God has really been stretching and growing me. Several things have popped up recently that have pushed me out of my comfort zone.

Talking in front of a group is not my idea of a fun time. But That is what I am doing in March at the Spring Women's Retreat at my church. Our theme is "When Life Gives You Lemons..." It was decided at a recent retreat planning meeting, that we would structure the retreat around 5 or 6 testimonies from ladies who have had tough circumstances. I sat through the whole meeting and didn't say too much, but in my head, I was having a battle with God. "I'm not going to volunteer to speak. No one would want to hear my story. It's not a radical conversion story or a turning from drugs or the like" was some of the thoughts running through my mind. BUT God (You got to love those words) wasn't going to let me get out of there without throwing my name on the list. He gently reminded me that my story is one of His faithfulness and Goodness.

So I am now working on putting together my testimony of how God has walked with me through depression, chronic pain and a myrid of health problems. There were times when I couldn't see the "Good" that would come from all this, but God always worked it out for His good and I wouldn't trade those bad times for anything. Through each bad time, I learned more about God and was changed for the better. So I am being obedient and stepping out of my comfort zone and will be sharing in front of 30 or more ladies. Pray for me...

Another way I have been pushed out of my comfort zone just happened this week. Not only am I not good in front of groups, I'm not real good with meeting new people. I lack self-confidence. Normally when I know I am going to be put in a situation with people I don't know, I get very nervous and withdrawn. On Wednesday, my hubby and I met some new friends from the GSPN.TV community for supper and then a Lost viewing party. I am just praising God that I was calm and relaxed during it. I even had a great time. I met a lot of great people who'd I'd normally never have met as none of them live in the same city/state that we do.

SO I'm learning that sometimes God leads us out of our comfort zones. But when He does, He will be with us. And you never know, you might be surprised at how much you enjoy it!

A clean slate...

As I go to bed tonight, I am facing a new day tomorrow. A fresh clean slate lays before me. Not only are my sins forgiven & forgotten, but God has extended His Grace to me once again. So, tomorrow is a new day & here are the things I'm looking forward to changing with God's help:

1. Eating healthier - I am cleaning out my kitchen & purging it of all the junk food (brownies, fudge, cookies) so I can eat better & feel better.
2. Exercising - I want to be more fit so I can feel better & lose weight.
3. Educating my kids - I am looking forward to starting school tomorrow and challenging my kids to learn as much as they can.
4. Emotional stability - I am resolved to trust God & not my emotions. As I exercise, eat better & do what needs to be done, I truly believe my body will become more emotionally stable.
5. Consistancy - I want to be more consistant with my kids in discipline, in schedule, in time spent with them. I want to be more consistant with my time with God. I want to be more consistant in my attitude & my life as a whole.
6. Transparency - I want to be real. I want to not put up a fascade. I want everyone to see the real me. It may be hard, it may not be pretty, but at least I'll be real!

I'll let you know how I'm doing...Tomorrow the clean slate begins....

What a Nasty Person!!

And no, I'm not talking about anyone else. I'm talking about myself. Have you ever had one of those moments when you realize you are a disgusting, vile person. It's really ugly when you realize you have such hatred, such bitterness, such pettiness, such selfishness in you. I mean, you aren't a bad person as far as the world is concerned....you don't drink, you don't smoke, you love your family, you go to church.

BUT, inside your heart is awful. How could anyone love you? How could someone die for you? At that moment, I was overwhelmed that Jesus would come to this broken world & die for me so that I might be saved. I don't deserve that...never in a million years. I'm so nasty, so evil, so flawed...yet God showers me with His Grace....Grace undeserved. Jesus' blood covers my sin, my evil.

And even more unthinkable is that He takes this broken, nasty person & make something beautiful out of it. He uses me, in my awful state, to bring glory to Himself. He works all things out in this life for His good! All I have to do is admit I'm sinful & ask His forgiveness. That sweet sweet forgiveness, that He pours on me so readily. And then He blesses me again & again. Despite myself, He has blessed me with 3 beautiful kids, with a wonderful, loving, patient husband, a wonderful family & a great church family. I don't deserve any of it! It's Grace! God's wonderful, bountiful, undeserved, incomprehensible grace!

Only God could take an awful, nasty, petty, flawed person and turn her into something beautiful, broken but beautiful! All I can do is Praise HIM!!