Rambling

I don't really have a topic today. Just noticed I hadn't updated in a while. Things are going ok. We are having a little trouble with the kids picking up their toys. It's a constant struggle & I'm not really sure how to deal with it. It usually ends in yelling (yes, I know yelling is not good). I know I've trained them to only respond to yelling but I can't seem to get us out of this viscous circle! Then I end up feeling like a horrible mom.

Plus this week I'm dealing with hormones & headaches so that make me irritable. Fortunately, Jeff is coming home tonight! He is home for 4 whole days then on Thursday, he & I head to DE where he is working. A nice break for me.

I feel like I've been under attack this week. My defenses are down since I've not been feeling the best & Satan has been working overtime on trying to convince me I'm a bad mom. Then all the afraid feelings. Just a hard week. But I've been clinging to God & He has brought me through it. Some weeks we sail through & other weeks we are just happy to have made it through alive!

As you can see, this is just a rambling mess. So, if you thought I had it all together, you can clearly see that I don't. I struggle, but God is faithful to take even my weak attempts & turn them to good. Every day, Heaven looks better & better. To have no struggles, no pain, no anger, no doubts....to just be in the presence of Jesus....ah....

"I don't think I could do it"

That is the most common thing I've heard from everyone whenever they talk to me about Jeff's traveling job. The conversation goes something like this:
"How's Jeff liking the new Job?"
"Fine. He seems to be adjusting to it well"
"How are you doing with him gone all the time?"
"Pretty good. We get to talk to him on Skype all the time, so that helps."
"Well, I don't think I could do it!"

So, I've been thinking about this. The only thing I can say in answer to that is "I'm not doing it. God is." The human part of me is screaming that Jeff needs to be home & I can't be on my own with 3 kids for 4-5 days a week. But then I look at this & can see God's hand. He put us here. He is guiding me. It is working. Yes, I miss Jeff when he's gone...like crazy. But things are going smoothly & everything is working good. So God must be doing this for us.

You know, I probably would say the same thing to someone in my situation. But now, I don't think I'll ever say that again. Now I see that if God puts me in a tough situation, He'll enable me "to do it!" He has plans for me that are higher than what I could even dream. I just can't think on that level so I just have to accept that if He put us on this path, He'll provide the way. So I know that I can do it if it is God's will for me!!

Harder

So, it's the 2nd night of the 2nd week of Jeff being gone. It's harder. I'm finding I'm going to God more in prayer. I need His help. I don't have the strength to do this on my own. But God is merciful & is giving me the grace I need to make it through. I'm not sure why we are doing this, but I know that on the other side of this, I will know that God is faithful & that He alone is who carried me through this. Maybe that's why we have to go through this....so I'll be totally dependent upon God...and not Jeff or myself. Total dependence on God for His power, His presence, His peace & His protection. What more can I say but "God, I need You! I'm desperate for You!"

First Week almost over!

Well, tomorrow evening hubby will be home. The first week is almost over. It seems to have gone pretty good. The kids are missing daddy, but seem to be handling him being gone ok. I'm missing hubby but am coping ok. It's kind of strange in that this just seems normal. Maybe it's because this is just the first week & it's a short week. I hope all week are as easy as this. I start my days in prayer & Bible study & then we do school work with maybe a morning snack. Then we have lunch & then finish any schoolwork we didn't get done yet. Then it's free time for the kids. I catch up on email & then work on housework. Then it's supper time & then clean up time. Then snack & bedtime. I've been reading to the kids after prayers & read until the youngest 2 fall asleep (usually 15-20 minutes).

Oh & we usually talk to daddy 3-4 times a day with one or more of those times being via Skype. So it's not like we have to go without hearing or seeing daddy. I think that makes it easier.

Well, that's my life for now. God is good & continues to carry me through this.

Day One is over!

The first day of hubby being gone has been a good one, but I'm so tired. Hubby & I were up until after midnight & had to get up at 4:30 in order to take him to the airport. All the kids were awake from the time we put them in the van until I got them out of the van at home. Jamie & David stayed awake all morning & played quietly while Jessie & I napped.

The kids for the most part seem to be handling it well. Jess keeps asking when's daddy getting home & I have to keep telling her not for 3 more days.

I am dealing ok, just extremely tired so I am heading to bed even though it is just 10pm. I do miss my cuddles though....